Choosing your parents – conversations for Mother’s Day

As Mother’s Day, UK, awakes us, have you ever wondered why you chose the mother you have? Indeed reflect for a moment on your parents that formed your earliest memories and greatest conversations and without whom you might not have become who you are.

As I open my own life to new ideas this year, I ponder on the original programming in my mother’s womb and my younger years; wishing today to celebrate the happiness endemic in my childhood; and share with you wonderful insights into why choosing my parents was a really perfect way to get started that has led me to who I am in the world today!

My father was a gentleman, a truly remarkable influence on me. He lived very much in the moment while honouring his past and using his instinctive wisdom. I remember his conversations with me were always in a positive manner, especially when I was in a difficult time in my life. So whether it was challenging homework aged 16; rescuing me when left high and dry getting home from a party out with my friends; or a shoulder to lean on when my marriage broke down, he would seek to help me “be” and ask “what can I do to help?” He never ticked me off – or let me off. A subtle balance of trust, love and authority, he figured strong in my life, allowing me to be ME!

He adored my mother and for 64 years they were very happily married until he passed away aged 91 years. He and my mother taught me to be strong, courageous, always kind, loving, and conscientious. They created a home of conversations and laughter – an atmosphere in which to enjoy life yet to stand up and be counted; to always contribute what natural gifts we had inherited and grown; and to seek to serve others as best we could be. If only all family life across the world could be so!

For me, ‘my very being’ is about living an in-the-now experience, and loving living about which my parents were always great examples. I know that this formative experience lies within all I do whether with my friends and family or with my clients in the corporate land of UK business. Our parenting experience is where it all starts. The conversations we had, the love and celebration that founded our growth.

My wonderful mother is a stunning 93, alert, fun, caring, great grandmother and “mummy” to me and my brothers and sisters. She has always been a great conversationalist and continues to hold an inspiring space for all of us; and allows me to “be ME” as she has always done. She has always treated me with respect, encouragement and commitment to whatever I have done.

In my latter years, I have led a very different path to that maybe desired by her, I have laid my own journey into an entrepreneurial business world she doesn’t quite understand yet she joined me onstage aged 90 years to present to 150 corporate women without hesitation; I got divorced which is alien to her religious traditions yet she doesn’t let that upset her; and she always loves and supports me even when she’s worried when I take risks and seek higher goals that are unpredictable. She is caring and concerned yet trusting I will “be” alright. She blesses me whether I make mistakes or create success.

I do believe we choose our parents, I chose very wisely and I am so thankful for that. As mother’s day is a sharing opportunity, I make time to be aware that many men and women don’t have the loving gift and fortune of the life I have had from mine. They have helped me lay down how I now create my world at work and at play. I learn so much in this reflection today.

Everyone is ‘some mother’s child’, let’s not forget that without mothers we’d never be born…yes, I acknowledge that fathers play their part in the creation, however nature’s delivery gift is given to us women.

My daughter is now a wonderful yummy mummy to my two grandkids; she also teaches women to give birth in the most natural and gentle way, respecting their body and emotions as nature intended. I know she and my son chose me and I thank them for that honour and pleasure.

Thank you to all mothers across the world for the life you give; and to my mother especially today and her legacy to me to be a strong courageous woman in 2011.

The debate – does your brain sex really matter

istock_000004583601medium1The last two weeks have been full of exciting conversations!!

On the 15th October I attended the Stone Club breakfast time debate, led by Dr Anne Moir, and a lively conversation about the neurological evidence uncovered over recent years and how to use this to benefit our world. Looking at the current situation of the balance of men and women at top levels of the corporate world, Anne exploded the myth that it’s all about equality!

I was delighted to be invited as a guest to this event, as my passion is always to understand myself more and how I relate to others in my life. The more I study and work with men and women in the boardroom and across the broader clusters of teams and management levels, and indeed in my own social relationships, I realise the need to continuosly improve and learn to communicate in open, heartfelt and authentic ways. Yet we have many ways of viewing ‘conversations’ and our sex gets in the way!!

I also recognise positive face-to-face interactions create the most energy but different types come to the conversation with different expectations and different intentions. As one commentator said, “as soon as words leave our lips, they become available for mis-interpretation, good and bad, this always happens.” Depending on our brain preferecnes and neuro-biological imprint, we might see the world one way or other.

Accordign to Anne’s questionnaire from BRAINSEXMATERS I score 6 on a 0-20 continum where 0 is fully ‘male brain’ and 20 is fully ‘female’!! Ah!! I knew it and have all my life, I don’t have a purely feminine female persona – I have a wonderfully ‘masculine’ brain (it can’t be male actually as I know looking in the mirror, I am truly female!! ) yet my mind and body together work in normal female nurturing, multitasking way!! so what does it all mean?

For me it really explains why I have a ‘sat nav’ mind (I don’t turn the map round!), drive like a man (so my sister says!) and can be spatially accurate to a mm!! yet I can honour being a woman in everyway!

What a healthy place to be to know and understand myself more and more!!

This morning’s Thought for Today is “Lost in translation” and it made me chuckle a lot as I recognised how splendidly diverse we all are and how magic our conversations can be when we recognise our starting point comes from inside and not through social constructs about me needing to act as a woman in certian ways – nowadays I know I can be always that which I truly am!

The last two weeks continued with fabulous conversations, a truly magical dinner party in Mayfair with 5 stunningly different friends; an opportunity to address 40 senior women for a special ‘Preparedness for the Boardroom’ event; and especially important for me, meetings with my new business team that fill me with great courage and amazing possibilties for our growth and success.

Wow, each week amazes me and I am truly grateful.

My journey continues….