The past is past, where are you now?

How often do you linger in the past, worrying about what has been done to you, putting meaning to everything and everyone, believing it’s all happening to you somehow and responding without you being responsible for anything? Do you ever wonder what might have happened if YOU stepped into a new possibility?

It’s time to get off that hamster wheel and notice what is gloriously possible for you right NOW.

I have thought that I spent much of my life in the present moment, often in my workshops I have been heard to say ‘this is the only moment that is important’. When years ago I was working more focused on image work and showing men and women how great they could look, women especially would say how much they liked the look yet would save it for a special day. My response was ‘surely everyday is special; this is the only moment so always be your best and choose to love yourself?’

And so if we don’t, we might then go on our way, not making every moment special, not making our selves be the extraordinary person we are born to be. Why is that? What responsibility can we take for being our best in the now and spreading that into everyday in our presence, our words and actions and so our responses, whatever occur.

Although of a generally positive mind and manner, I too have realized that I still have allowed the past to linger in my meaning of people and situations. What actually happens and the meaning I place on it are two totally separate factors. I allowed the meaning to linger and allowed it to influence my ‘doing’, the patterns of behaviour that I deliver. I have believed that what is my view ‘is real’, and yet it occurs to me now that that is my view of life and not what is reality. In fact there is no reality only my interpretation of what is happening and the meaning I place on it.

Today I choose to be in the now because I choose to be in the now.

And when I relate that to the wider context of my work and the world I seek to notice the collective meanings we place on what happens around us and in the groups and communities in which we live.

So take the collective meaning of what is happening in our society, the recessional impact on meaning in people’s lives, the meaning of austerity and the contra call for ‘happiness’. We all place different meanings on this broader picture and each coming from our own history and experiences and the enormous pile of meanings we have stored up since we were born. If we take a look at collective and personal ‘meanings’ about money, wealth, family, society, community, collaboration, rights and wrongs, personal interests and professional status most are stale and of no value. The past is past and as we gather to talk in the NOW about happiness, we need to complete on the meanings that may hinder or even derail the possibility of it before we even start.

The launch of Action for Happiness is tomorrow. Let’s make the conversation magical!

So some personal tips for those of you who wish to let go of their past baggage about the possibility of happiness:

To dissolve the barriers and limitations, you need to be freed from your stock pile of meanings related to unhappy happenings in your past life. These are not real in your current NOW.

Watch and log what occurs for you rather then what “is”?

It’s always your view not the world view.

The collective view is the collective view not what is happening.

Try this simple shift in language … “Happiness is unattainable. Happiness occurs to me as unattainable.”

The ‘occurs‘ statement enables every human being to own his/her view as it occurs and opens up a conversation about what occurs for each rather than talking about what’s gone before and jumping to solutions too quickly based on the past.

Try this in your own life. If there is someone whose actions causes you unhappiness, transform your words ‘person X is an angry person’ into ‘person X occurs to be to behave in an angry manner’. Stand into the responsibility of observing their behaviour and how you respond to it. They may merely be in pain, irritated by their day, a loud personality, and/or unaware of the impact they make. Wars are started on no less than this basic mis-understanding when a ‘meaning’ grows into a belief from opposing faction – the ‘I’m right, you’re wrong’ argument emerges. If laid down for years without mutual understanding, wars becomes seemingly unsolvable apart from with force.

Our past is past, it is nothing in the NOW. If we are to create the possibility of collective happiness in our society and across the world, I believe we need to put the past in the past, and notice when we look forward from NOW the only light shining is at the end of the tunnel and as we allow it to come brighter we exit the tunnel in the space of infinite possibility that everything is possible.

Choosing your parents – conversations for Mother’s Day

As Mother’s Day, UK, awakes us, have you ever wondered why you chose the mother you have? Indeed reflect for a moment on your parents that formed your earliest memories and greatest conversations and without whom you might not have become who you are.

As I open my own life to new ideas this year, I ponder on the original programming in my mother’s womb and my younger years; wishing today to celebrate the happiness endemic in my childhood; and share with you wonderful insights into why choosing my parents was a really perfect way to get started that has led me to who I am in the world today!

My father was a gentleman, a truly remarkable influence on me. He lived very much in the moment while honouring his past and using his instinctive wisdom. I remember his conversations with me were always in a positive manner, especially when I was in a difficult time in my life. So whether it was challenging homework aged 16; rescuing me when left high and dry getting home from a party out with my friends; or a shoulder to lean on when my marriage broke down, he would seek to help me “be” and ask “what can I do to help?” He never ticked me off – or let me off. A subtle balance of trust, love and authority, he figured strong in my life, allowing me to be ME!

He adored my mother and for 64 years they were very happily married until he passed away aged 91 years. He and my mother taught me to be strong, courageous, always kind, loving, and conscientious. They created a home of conversations and laughter – an atmosphere in which to enjoy life yet to stand up and be counted; to always contribute what natural gifts we had inherited and grown; and to seek to serve others as best we could be. If only all family life across the world could be so!

For me, ‘my very being’ is about living an in-the-now experience, and loving living about which my parents were always great examples. I know that this formative experience lies within all I do whether with my friends and family or with my clients in the corporate land of UK business. Our parenting experience is where it all starts. The conversations we had, the love and celebration that founded our growth.

My wonderful mother is a stunning 93, alert, fun, caring, great grandmother and “mummy” to me and my brothers and sisters. She has always been a great conversationalist and continues to hold an inspiring space for all of us; and allows me to “be ME” as she has always done. She has always treated me with respect, encouragement and commitment to whatever I have done.

In my latter years, I have led a very different path to that maybe desired by her, I have laid my own journey into an entrepreneurial business world she doesn’t quite understand yet she joined me onstage aged 90 years to present to 150 corporate women without hesitation; I got divorced which is alien to her religious traditions yet she doesn’t let that upset her; and she always loves and supports me even when she’s worried when I take risks and seek higher goals that are unpredictable. She is caring and concerned yet trusting I will “be” alright. She blesses me whether I make mistakes or create success.

I do believe we choose our parents, I chose very wisely and I am so thankful for that. As mother’s day is a sharing opportunity, I make time to be aware that many men and women don’t have the loving gift and fortune of the life I have had from mine. They have helped me lay down how I now create my world at work and at play. I learn so much in this reflection today.

Everyone is ‘some mother’s child’, let’s not forget that without mothers we’d never be born…yes, I acknowledge that fathers play their part in the creation, however nature’s delivery gift is given to us women.

My daughter is now a wonderful yummy mummy to my two grandkids; she also teaches women to give birth in the most natural and gentle way, respecting their body and emotions as nature intended. I know she and my son chose me and I thank them for that honour and pleasure.

Thank you to all mothers across the world for the life you give; and to my mother especially today and her legacy to me to be a strong courageous woman in 2011.