We have a dream….

Martin Luther King’s famous words “I have a dream…” came to mind yesterday at the Women on Fire conference, when a few hundred women and a handful of mindful men gathered in the majestic beauty of Central Hall, Westminster.

Eleanor Roosevelt said “the future belongs to those who believe in the power of their dreams”

I do so believe in the power of my dreams and yesterday this was multipied100 fold with a whole audience of amazing women. Let me tell you more.

I experienced the fire of women come alive through this wonderful day; I heard their stories, trials and tribulations, victories and wisdom shared in an amazing uplifting energy to bring their dreams alive. The collective dream of those women gathered shines a new ray of hope and possibility, of aligning with Mother Earth with our female wisdom to seed new generations of healthy children, to support the underdog, to create new rules through current systems yet with a female vision of creative collaboration and great integrity; we seek the justice and care for all, as all deserve so because they are human beings; to defuse the power politics of the minority who hold all the wealth and power and deal with rough justice and not fairness; to spread kindness across all peoples, all communities, all nations.

Our dream is that women are heard, clearly, loudly, with due care and attention, and that we voice our truths in ways that men will hear and all women will grace with honor and pride. Our dream is that collectively and singularly we reach our pure and natural potential to bring harmony and goodwill into everyday existence, to be practical in our co-parenting and joint decision makers in world affairs, in corporate life, in our workplaces, homes and playgrounds. Women coming together, bringing fire from the source of Mother Earth into our bodies, hearts and minds, into our spirit, into our dreams “we too have a dream…” and we will be heard now!

In all of this, “I pledge my dream to help co-create a world where men and women truly understand each other, recognize and respect our natural contributions to life and business and society, and value our different attributes; a world where we truly have a partnership style not born of the past but of the future potential to truly be equal in the co-creation of our world; truly listening, observing, trusting and collaborating with each other on a new blueprint for life.

I have a dream that we can create life where there are no abusive relationships, no tortured families, no bullied schoolchildren or harassed employees; no wars, no crime and no damaging behaviour; a world where women are honoured and men are loving, where women value their natural female beauty and nurturing energy alongside their strength and courage; and men value their natural lead yet know their potential to embrace emotions – both dancing together in a natural alignment and flow.”

I commit to the happening of my dream – that all women’s voices will be heard and valued – that all will shine their natural value in honour of Mother Earth, to understand that we too take responsibility alongside men for the damaged world we live in our current daily existence; whether economically or socially challenged, whether in dangerous territory, or in civilized lands, women have not stood truly together to have one voice heard by men.

Sisters, we have no time to argue or condamn, to moan or complain; we must work fast to save our endangered world, our dimished family units, our rising crime rates and wars around the world killing our young men. Women have a vital role, a life giving nurturing role and together we can make the difference.

I declare my dream to bring collaborative between all parties, men and women, generations, communities, nations and religions; enabling all to come to the table, to the campfire, to the light; to engage in magical conversations. I declare my passion to educate young and old in the natural differences we bring to that conversation; to use my full skills and expertise to spread knowledge for all to learn; to teach people how to engaged in conversations that enhance their life and everyone elses; to help people transform their negative assumptions, release constraints and live a full and meaningfull life; to participate fully in the fire of love and compassion that can heal our world; and to seek through these conversations to achieve a new way to live together with respect and integrity.

How do I plan to do this ; with your engagement, your support, your contributions; through shared spaces, declared intentions, shared stories, shared knowledge; through bringing people’s great stories into public gaze, honestly and with truth and conviction; to do so through media, TV, internet, interviewing wise and courageous women and men who are stepping up to be the pioneers of our world transformation.

Many of these pioneers were at Women on Fire, both on stage and in the audience; this is the great beginning, Thank you Judith, thank you Lucia, without you and all your helpers this wouldn’t have happened, I am so blessed to know you and all there to be on this journey together, here’s to meeting again very soon and stoking up the fire!

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The tango of life

The strong and the gentle come together!

Last night I watched a fabulous “Tango Fire” show at the Peacock Theatre; the magic of dance wove its story, the story of life, of relationships, of steamy passion and purposeful intention, an all-embracing joy in performance. I reflected on how this dance is a story for transformation of men and women in our world today.

Five magnificent strong male dancers moved as if as fluid as a fast flowing river – yet as strong as any man can be. They kept us transfixed as they literally held their female partners close, wound around their bodies, lifted above their heads and seamlessly flowing and interlinked in sharp moves merged with gentle lines and continuous flow.

The five beautiful women were as sensuously female as possibly they could be, clothed in body hugging costumes and colours that accentuated their feminine without any salacious intent; they became an integral part of their partners strong fluidity while providing a soft flow of expression and language beyond words, a strength in line that made you gasp with delight; a complement in all ways to their partners and the music and message of their origins.

This natural weave of strong and gentle, of direction and fluidity, stands as a perfect example of the natural roles men and women play together. It also explores the nature of masculinity that flows, and femininity that has power.

In our current world, how often do we see a fight between the masculine and the feminine, between man and woman, over and over? We hear of increases in marriages and family partnership breaking down, of battles that destroy communities, and at the core of this we have not fully understood the needs of each gender, the pull of each generation’s men and women as they view parenting and reproduction in different ways There is an uncomfortable history of male domination in business, in politics and in the evolution of the structures and rules that control our lives and into which women have often subjugated their female attributes in order to compete in a man’s world.

Don’t get me wrong, this is not male bashing! In deed the opposite, I believe it is the complement of male and female, of masculine and feminine in all the performers, male and female, that we need to expose, explore, and expedite into our current challenges so that we can truly build a blueprint that honours the gifts and talents natural to our different species. The world is a partnership of male and female, of masculine and feminine, of strong and gentle entwined.

The full story of Argentina Tango has played a social transformational role in society not just in South America, but in its impact as it swept across the world in the 1900s, allowing people to get closer in dance, to express themselves and the societal changes experienced, through rock and roll, hippy times, modern ballroom and expressive dance formats have brought people together. Dancing intimately, men with women, men with men, women with women, in the spirit of the dance, we see the communication of our natural evolution, our relationships, our potential joy and our passion to perform together, to flow with strength for a successful performance.

Can we apply all of this to the partnerships of life at home, at play, in the workplace; with families, with teams, with social cohesion?

If this union of masculine and feminine, in both genders, can be expressed so seamlessly in dance, I believe it can be experienced in the performance of men and women in society, in business, in politics. Why not? If we truly want to grow a healthy wealthy society for all, I believe we need to build a more collaborative model for a socially responsible and resourceful community.

Dance like I watched last night, cannot occur without tuning into each other, without communication, without practice, without love.

In taking simultaneous responsibility for our uniqueness as men and women as well as our core value as human beings, in a well tuned partnership, we can create a new possibility for a healthy world for all, our children and our grandchildren.

Women on Fire

Last night I met more amazing women, as I do so now regularly as I spread the word about my work and my life transition. I am committed to bringing women together in their glorious sisterhood, helping them find their individual beauty and ensure their courage and ability to be their best in all they do, personally, professionally and as the goddesses we are born to be!

We were at a fabulous party held in Westminster to celebrate the 4th birthday of The Pink Shoe Club, founded by Helene Martin Gee, an outstanding leader and amazing loving woman. Many fabulous females were gathered (and a few men) to celebrate the night with laughter and warmth, blessing each other’s company.

Diana and Gayle, two new friends, greeted my stories with such glee and abundance (I hope you are reading this today) and my dearest friend, Maryon, all reminded me once more about the power of sisters that can help transform our world and our lives with men.

My thoughts went to the many fabulous women who have influenced my life over the years and especially today; my mother, my sister, my daughter and granddaughter; many others who I love and honour in my life; too many to name here. I am so fortunate to be blessed with wonderful girlfriends. They are important and are sisters to me and I open my heart to embrace them.

As often does when women chatter, our conversation last night turned at one point to women not getting on with other women and how sad that is to behold. A comment was made that women are so complex, they often would be badly behaved with other women and not bring out the sisterhood unilaterally. What happens when women don’t get on and why does this seem to wound us in our very essence?

Can we maintain ‘sisterhood’ consistency as women work together?

Often women who build businesses together have complimentary styles, one slightly more masculine, one slightly more feminine; this is our natural balance, the yin and yang of our gender, yet when we fall out, we bitch about it in a loud and nasty way that you don’t see men doing. We get emotionally fraught; it is our way to be cats! Many women report that it is much easier to work for a man as senior women cut them off from progress. When women strive to be engaged in politics, entrepreneurship and social re-order, they can often fall foul of shifting too far into alien behaviour (maybe because it’s a MALE enclave) and immediate women are labeled aggressively as ‘being like a man’! Whenever a woman behaves badly it goes against all of us: when men behave badly, other men ignore it.

I do believe that women can surmount this by drawing on all our natural talents and unique yet female styles, creating a new blueprint of inclusiveness with men but not having to go on working on the old map of work, the tough ‘dog eat dog’ world. We are a different species, beauty and diverse within our gender, but none the less all goddesses!

Thankfully I see a shift, a knowingness that we are sisters, I see evidence that more women want to bond together, to find a language in business and in life that manages all the wounds that have appear over the last centruies. It is time to bring our soul intentions together and bring kindness to rule the world not terror.

This Saturday Women on Fire is gathering women (and a few men) together at Central Hall Westminster to embrace, to chatter, to be grounded to our earth energy and to ignite the power of the fire within us; not to burn the world down with fear, but to light the light of love and shine a beacon to shine for all. Join us.

What is a magical conversation?

What is a magical conversation? I have been asked this many times and it’s hard to say exactly although you surely know when a conversation has been miserable!

That is one that makes your blood drain away or boil.

It’s a conversation that isn’t actually a conversation as it is one sided, even when more than one person is talking.

It can be full of tears and/or fears, angry words or can just be downright boring. Have you ever sat in those and wondered why you are there?

You play your part.

Miserable conversations take place the whole time, at work and at home, in shops, on the streets, on the tubes, in pubs, in bars, in restaurants, across families, across nations, across continents. You observe the silent conversations where not a word is said as you sip your beer.

You are responsible.

The worst is still to come – the conversation that starts wars – the controversial conversation, the blind conversations, the bigoted conversation. The vitriolic conversations that create divorce, achromous settlement conversations; the legal battles conversations; the conversations without resolve; the embittered conversation; and the unspoken bereavement conversations.

You are able to transform.

“Magical conversations” came into my life from an early age and really ran through my life. There were many of these conversations around the breakfast table when I was a kid. As I grew up and realized my awkward teens and then found adulthood, I had the miserable ones too of course! Yet I always was attracted to magical ones and to creating them too. I didn’t necessarily call them that then. I received a delightful comment from my daughter, Gemma, some two years when she said “you know Mum, you should call yourself the president of magical conversations, as you make them wherever you go” Thank you to her.

I listened and took the comment on board. I felt President was a tad grand although I do preside over such events now. I started to say to people that I was the “Ambassador of Magical Conversations” and it attract both interest and intrigue and indeed started people switched on to what they said, the intent they used and the effect they had on others.

It takes a tuned in person to know when they have switched someone else on … or off! When we step into that magical conversation of inspired trust, respectful observation, openness and honesty, welcoming contributions from diverse minds, encompassing all views and listening with two ears and speaking in turn, we create a sacred space that holds no barriers to magical outcomes. My dear friend and colleague Richard had evolved a passion to hold ‘third space meetings’ in 2009 and create that sacred space for all to share. This fulfilled my nature of magical conversations because the space provided the final ingredient, the fertile ground for voices to be heard. Those attending always went out with a smile and an air of joy.

The events we hold now are helping in many senior corporate circles and in our own lives and can work anywhere.

Magical Conversations are magical because we know not what we might create at the start; we merely hold the intention for a third space between us, we state the topic in principle, state the guidelines and allow the seeds of the conversation to germinate and grow into collaborative results. This style of conversation can be used anywhere any time for amazing results, in the boardroom they can turn businesses around, in families they can change children’s future lives.

Magical conversations have three core requests from all participating …

• To enter with full intention to listen, to contribute, to share, to care, to observe, to speak and to invite a wide diversity of contributions to whatever the central subject or topic is being regarded.
• To park any egos outside the door, to bar judgments and opinions, yet share from experience, giving evidence and stories to help where required, allowing conjecture if given permission by the collective, and always keeping the space safe for all to be there.
• To leave the conversation knowing you have given truly, and received richly, have helped everyone feel inspired and lifted, enlightened and expanded the conversation.

Any conversation can be magical, a quick conversation at the bus stop; a long business conversation in the boardroom; an intimate conversation of friends; a romantic duo out on a first date.

A magical conversation flows, it winds, it laughs, it cries, it surprises and it confirms the unconditional love and acceptance of difference between all parties. This is a true loving communication between human beings, as we all have been given the gift to communicate, whether by voice or sign language, in English or any national dialect, inter-generationally or in peer group parties.

Where talking happens, conversations thrive. Magical Conversations never die.

Visioning your future NOW!

Why wait for tomorrow to start your vision today?

Place in view, not just in your head. Don’t be shy of what you dream about passionately. Put it right, left and centre, know that what you don’t know now will turn up, set intentions through your visioning and watch it flow towards you.

“What rubbish” I hear you whisper in your head – surely my vision, my dream, and my passion is best kept inside incase others put me off and say it’s too daring, too outside of my ability… “It’s a secret because I dare not say what others might ridicule.” You pronounce the death knoll on your pioneering vision ‘in case the arrows in your back hurt you!!!

Well I am here to tell you – get out of your own way and watch it occur.

Pauline's Vision Board Autumn 2010


Here is my vision board from last autumn – and already, I am ready for a revised and extended vision i.e. to host my own chat TV show interviewing extraordinary women and men who bring diverse and extraordinarily transforming ideas to life, business, and entrepreneurship, and influence social change and create philanthropic operations that delve deep into unknown territory to save the world from pain.

I am meeting with all the amazing people because I seek amazing people, I have already a line-up of top women to interview about what is really needed to transform our recession hit boardroom and really give Lord Davies a radical shake up!! I am asking senior guys too to come onto the interview couch; and I plan more hosting of ‘Magical Conversations’ across corporate land.

I always set my intentions in my vision board and then in my conversations (I talk and connect a lot) and now have celebrities and entrepreneurial opportunities to interview; both men and women of all ages – I even have a fabulous group of 16/17year olds who’d like to be in conversation with the boardrooms of UK. Now that will be a magical conversation to watch!

So what is happening here?

I explain this work using vision boards and intentions today to a new and dear friend, Maryam, who is on a mission to spread transformation education through Persian TV – now this is her homeland, her passion is raw, is new, is seeded by Landmark Education and a Forum we both experienced last weekend. Yet she had planned to keep her vision a secret – NO I say to her, bring it to life! She is now.

So here are the steps;

1. Know your vision needs to come from your inner passion – don’t just think it, write it down, mind-map it, draw it….. Do chat to close friends, don’t get put down, but be reasonable as well as unreasonable.
2. Be clear about what your vision intends to be, do, achieve- both for you in your life and for others in the world
3. Know your part , your role, your desires and abilities within your dream of the vision
4. Create your vision board – pictures, words, textures – that give a picture of the essence of your vision in very practical terms…
5. Put a picture of you in the middle – it’s your vision, your dream, and will influence the way you lead your life
6. Talk about it from your passion and for the benefits and results it brings … “my passion is to bring inspiration and motivation to people; to transform the country (then the world)… and get my message to its destination through interviews and presence in TV/media”
7. With your vision board finished and mounted on the wall – photograph it and put on your screensaver as well …and then when you see, you will be inspired
8. Answer questions and speak with passion – so when anyone else sees your vision board and they offer help, say YES and THANKS as often as you can and follow through with a review even if the lead comes to nothing!

People love to help us and yet so often we don’t set a clear intention about our vision and with purpose- say with responsible passion, own it, share it, allow people to bring you possibilities (however remote) and always be grateful for every link in the chain of your purpose fulfilled.

My vision boards have always helped me spring into action, take a confident lead, transform my experience in life and in business and move me closer to my current dream; to be the host of a Magical Conversations Chat Show, inspiring viewers through extraordinary people to take action to achieve a joyful, happy and abundant society for us all.

And if you have any dreams unrealized, let me know and come to one of my vision board creation sessions. Contact me on pauline@magicalconversations.co.uk And if you know anyone in Persian TV, contact me for Maryam!!

The past is past, where are you now?

How often do you linger in the past, worrying about what has been done to you, putting meaning to everything and everyone, believing it’s all happening to you somehow and responding without you being responsible for anything? Do you ever wonder what might have happened if YOU stepped into a new possibility?

It’s time to get off that hamster wheel and notice what is gloriously possible for you right NOW.

I have thought that I spent much of my life in the present moment, often in my workshops I have been heard to say ‘this is the only moment that is important’. When years ago I was working more focused on image work and showing men and women how great they could look, women especially would say how much they liked the look yet would save it for a special day. My response was ‘surely everyday is special; this is the only moment so always be your best and choose to love yourself?’

And so if we don’t, we might then go on our way, not making every moment special, not making our selves be the extraordinary person we are born to be. Why is that? What responsibility can we take for being our best in the now and spreading that into everyday in our presence, our words and actions and so our responses, whatever occur.

Although of a generally positive mind and manner, I too have realized that I still have allowed the past to linger in my meaning of people and situations. What actually happens and the meaning I place on it are two totally separate factors. I allowed the meaning to linger and allowed it to influence my ‘doing’, the patterns of behaviour that I deliver. I have believed that what is my view ‘is real’, and yet it occurs to me now that that is my view of life and not what is reality. In fact there is no reality only my interpretation of what is happening and the meaning I place on it.

Today I choose to be in the now because I choose to be in the now.

And when I relate that to the wider context of my work and the world I seek to notice the collective meanings we place on what happens around us and in the groups and communities in which we live.

So take the collective meaning of what is happening in our society, the recessional impact on meaning in people’s lives, the meaning of austerity and the contra call for ‘happiness’. We all place different meanings on this broader picture and each coming from our own history and experiences and the enormous pile of meanings we have stored up since we were born. If we take a look at collective and personal ‘meanings’ about money, wealth, family, society, community, collaboration, rights and wrongs, personal interests and professional status most are stale and of no value. The past is past and as we gather to talk in the NOW about happiness, we need to complete on the meanings that may hinder or even derail the possibility of it before we even start.

The launch of Action for Happiness is tomorrow. Let’s make the conversation magical!

So some personal tips for those of you who wish to let go of their past baggage about the possibility of happiness:

To dissolve the barriers and limitations, you need to be freed from your stock pile of meanings related to unhappy happenings in your past life. These are not real in your current NOW.

Watch and log what occurs for you rather then what “is”?

It’s always your view not the world view.

The collective view is the collective view not what is happening.

Try this simple shift in language … “Happiness is unattainable. Happiness occurs to me as unattainable.”

The ‘occurs‘ statement enables every human being to own his/her view as it occurs and opens up a conversation about what occurs for each rather than talking about what’s gone before and jumping to solutions too quickly based on the past.

Try this in your own life. If there is someone whose actions causes you unhappiness, transform your words ‘person X is an angry person’ into ‘person X occurs to be to behave in an angry manner’. Stand into the responsibility of observing their behaviour and how you respond to it. They may merely be in pain, irritated by their day, a loud personality, and/or unaware of the impact they make. Wars are started on no less than this basic mis-understanding when a ‘meaning’ grows into a belief from opposing faction – the ‘I’m right, you’re wrong’ argument emerges. If laid down for years without mutual understanding, wars becomes seemingly unsolvable apart from with force.

Our past is past, it is nothing in the NOW. If we are to create the possibility of collective happiness in our society and across the world, I believe we need to put the past in the past, and notice when we look forward from NOW the only light shining is at the end of the tunnel and as we allow it to come brighter we exit the tunnel in the space of infinite possibility that everything is possible.

Intentions for a magical day

How do you make intentions for a magical day? You just take a step back, go inside, see what day you want and set an intention to enjoy the ripples. If you write it down it’s even more powerful and surround the words with love and smiles and go on your path, and notice what happens!

Yesterday I set out with such great joy (which has been increasing everyday along with my blog readership – thanks everyone!) and heart-felt intention for whatever ‘needs to occur’ to occur. I set my intention to trust the day would achieve results even though I don’t know what these will be, and for me to embrace, learn, observe, contribute, laugh, cry, be appreciative of everyone and every word exchanged, trust and relax.

This aligns with my bigger intention to transition my life into full and absolute acceptance, service and participation at the highest level. Since I changed my home, surroundings, in deed everything I had known before March 18th, my days have added richness to every part of my life.

I have let go of focusing on money, stopped worrying about how the future will arrive, freed myself of many bills, overload and pressure, and know I am in the right place to lift off. My passionate intention is to be useful in the cause of spreading happiness, teaching people to be their best,to be wise and strong, compassionate and truly passionate in what ever they do. I have a vision for a future collaborative society and a world where injustices can be reduced and eliminated one by one, many by many.

My dream is to be a host, an interviewer par excellence, drawing out wise people’s stories, chairing magical conversations that debate and bring diverse minds together, facilitating motivation and inspirational sessions for all ages, being part of that ripple of kindness and love that will change our world.

Over the last two weeks I have done things I had set intentions for only weeks ago – to teach kids in school how to be aware, to join the cause to educate kids against dangerous drugs, to re-start writing for my book again, to find a mentor to help me, to live in a beautiful home with fabulous women, to meet new friends who will be on my journey with me….

……..and so much more comes soon.

A few years back I wrote my ‘obituary’ (and maybe I will share that another time), it’s a great exercise in ‘intention-setting’ against the future legacy you would like to leave – I decided to pass on at 101 years (some few decades yet to go) as a fun number and I wrote down the kind of world I would like to leave for my kids and grand-kids and the part I had played.

Some how over the next few decades I had actually helped to transform the education system with a school cirricula called SMILE – which embraced 5 lessons, Sound (singing, words, voice) Movement (body posture, dance, fitness) Inspiration (imagination, motivation, creativity) Laughter (comedy, performance, storytelling) Enterprise (entrepreneurship, commerce, business acumen)… and with these embedded in everyday growth, kids grew wise and responsible and able to smile genuinely – creating joyful ways to collaborate and build a far better aware sustainable joyful world. .

That is my intention – written 4 years ago, and already I am drawn into a desire to teach kids and am starting to see it happen for me. Yesterday that journey’s intention came a wee closer. So very exciting.

Try it. Set small intentions first, see them manifest – then go for the big one, the life vision, its stunning.