Why does anyone abuse another or themselves? Surely if we each took full responsibility for our thoughts, actions and reactions, we might easily resolve even the seemingly irresolvable relationship breakdowns, the possibility of feeling abused and so reduce the seedbed of negative attitudes on which traumatic damaging abuse could grow.
Whether in anger over a love breakup, a bullying dispute at work, a deeply entrenched violent relationship or merely a bickering home argument, our negative attitude to others and our self is selfish and abdicates the responsibility we are gifted at birth; the valuable gift of human life. Even in pain or sorrow, we can take a soul decision to be responsible for how we receive that challenge.
I believe we all can be far more responsible and therefore accountable today for the collective verbal abuse, sorrow, and unjustifiable human pollution of violence that infects our natural world with inhumane behaviour. We can each take personal responsibility for all we think, feel and act out in our life from the smallest action, we can spread joy rather than anguish; a smile to a stranger, a word of praise to our family, an attitude of gratitude whatever happens, a mediation style of leadership, conversations that include our differences.
I pondered over how we might transform our world to one of love rather than fear, one of contribution rather than isolation, one of sharing rather greed.
In many ways we have made it easy to abdicate responsibility. “It’s not my fault, they are to blame” we say to ourselves. “It’s not my issue, I can’t change the world, too many people, and it’s not to do with what I do!” We play small and abdicate consistently that which is in our power; to love and be loved, to express with perfect voice, with understanding, with grace, with trust and ask for what we need with respect for all around us and far away.
Is your life now full of easy ways to abdicate responsibility? We blame others; blame our childhood, our bosses, our debts, our lack of money, our politicians? Do we abdicate when we find easy ways out of our major responsibilities such as parenting and education of our next generations? I see often parents abdicating responsibility unconsciously and consciously when we stick our kids in front of the TV, computer or offer self service upbringings; when we get addicted to alcohol or drugs; when we ignore the potential abuse that may be happening under our noses, down our street, in our neighbourhood?
I know teachers who do not go the extra emotional mile with their pupils because of paper work and exam quotas even when they know the children need more of their attention; I know bosses who regular undermine their colleagues and juniors who disrespect their elders; we know there is a spiral of domestic violence, child abuse and substance misuse in our communities; we live in time where men and women continue to perpetrate crime and disorder in our so called ‘civilized society’, yet we abdicate helping because we don’t see these things happening to us personally. Women allow other women to be marginalized and brutalized around the world and we don’t rush to their side. Men allow other men to continue wars and major violence and crime and don’t get together to say “peace is the best option”
Many people wish they could win the lottery to make their lives better or grab at high salaries and bonuses when others are starving – in the belief that money is the only way to survive the devastation that currently faces many people financially and emotionally and health wise. It just doesn’t work that way … money will not solve broken attitudes or fear based living. It won’t solve climate challenges, natural disasters or rising mental illness. We have some major issues to take responsibility for today and we all have a part in our future together.
Once we choose responsibility for ourselves – often seen by many as burden – we find that it is actually a joy and gives us a reciprocal energy and willingness to serve, to love, to nurture, to grow happy relationships, to be a good guest, a wise friend, a helpful resource; to share, to care, to be kind. Personal responsibility is the first step to collective responsibility. we each make a difference.
If we all made that choice right now, I believe we can reduce and eventually eliminate abuse and spread joy around the world, one person at a time. I take responsibility right here right now for the rest of my life to do whatever it takes to bring about a loving, sharing, caring world. I don’t know yet how I will do that, however I do know if we each set a similar intention right here, right now, our intentional thoughts will show us the way.
Will you join me?